Thursday, September 13, 2007


I got my first comment telling me to go suck myself today, I feel like a real blogger now. Actually, that's a lie, I got it about two weeks ago but only picked it up today because I completely forgot I even had a blog. Yup, professionalism is my middle name. Apologies to all two of you whose comments were left standing for a while, even if one of you does hate me.

It's been a long time since I posted here, and I can't tell you what will be posted in the future, although I'd expect there will be a few of my thoughts jotted down from time to time, and if I ever devise a structured plan, it'll be getting wrote up on here. I'm thinking RSS might help the few of you who are interested in this blog but I don't know much about it, so if anyone wants to help me with that, send me an email.

Walking through a busy retail park, I was inspired to make a post here because of a totally random thought that occured to me. Of course then, I remembered my blog and I thought up a million and one other things I could write about, but they'll have to wait. This is the thought that occured to me:

I have written a fair bit on daydreaming, introversion and the fact that the socially anxious spend much of their time, mentally, not interacting with their immediate environment, but instead choosing to interact with their imagination. The thing is, in my mind, I can walk into a shop (I was about to walk into a shop when this thought came to me) and present myself to the cashier with no anxiety, no nerves, give a friendly smile and even start a little conversation. So why is the reality so different and why do I feel so uncomfortable?

It came to me, that I have full control over my imagination, which is something non-existing in the real world. Within both of these parallel worlds, I am the same person, with the same abilities and social skills, yet in one I often fail merely because I fear the loss of control. I understand this doesn't mean too much in itself, but I do believe that it is this fear that attempts to hold me in my imaginative space, which in turn will keep me from interacting with my immediate environment, learning to overcome social anxiety, etc. If you have read and understood the rest of my blog I'm thinking that you will be at least beginning to understand what I'm saying.

There's so many other elements to this, and I may get back to them, but this really was a random out of the blue thought. I do have other, probably more insightful things to say in the future should I get round to them. On a serious note, I am interested in speaking to people who have a deep interest in overcoming social anxiety, who have ideas to share, inspiration to give and all the rest of it. You'll find my email address somewhere around here. Thanks.